To say, "Someday I will change the world"
Who are you to believe?
But who are you to disagree?
The sky is blue
The grass is green
Find the light
This smoke covers the azure
Not being able to see the stars
Fallen barks hide the garden
So many trees being cut down
Does this planet need a hero
Or determined souls
Believe in what is not believable
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
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Original Text:
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125,018 Literary Works • 672,857 Reviews
I made a newer version of this poem, since people were critiquing it, (which is good), so i decided to fix it but I'm not sure if I'm gonna post the new one. Since this poem is sorta getting old. And I'm sorry about posting two of this poem.Didn't mean to!
This poem really seemed to change what it was about half way through. You just left me thinking what? Make up your mind on what this poem is about or make it sound like it is the same thing.
You left some pretty pictures in my head though I guess. Such as:
This was quite a lovely image but then again that is all it really is honestly. Also you don't need that being. It ruins the flow of the poem. That is another thing, parts of this poem flowed well but as a whole it didn't all fit together which is something to do with the two topics seeming to be at once.
These lines sounded really amatuer, maybe even childish.
My favourite part of the poem was the lines:
I would like to see you expand this idea.
~Ferris AKA Tara~
Is this about the enviroment? Believing? You start out saying one thing then go off to another.